Well, here we are back on the one day of the year where many of us make resolutions and promise to do, and be, better people. I avoid the gym in early January because it’s so crowded; but it’s a clear indicator of just how useless most of our resolutions are. The first two weeks of the year it’s packed. People show up, filled with great intentions, and lift and sweat every day for the first week. The second week it drops off a little bit as life starts to take over. By early February, it’s crickets. People forget they even have a gym membership until they get their renewal notice.
But why? Why are they so filled with hope and excitement, and then it fades to nothingness? There are dozens of reasons, and psychologists and neuroscientists have studied them for years, but one of the biggest comes down to a lack of motivation.
In short: Your “why” has to be bigger than your excuses.
Life gets busy. Our old habits take over. Time gets snatched away by jobs, and errands, and laundry, and The Bachelor (that last one might just be me, though). Who has the time to keep going to the gym regularly when adulting is already so demanding?
So this is where your Why has to be big. So big. Bigger than your current life.
If you’re writing resolutions, and thinking about how 2023 can be different/better than 2022, you are asking your mind and body to do new and different things. To go out of your comfort zone. To add in new routines, and new habits. It’s easy during the first few days and weeks of the New Year, while we’re all still a little hung over from the holidays, and all our friends are on the bandwagon, and our hopes are high.
But then life kicks in. We get distracted. We look at our sneakers sitting there taunting us, and we wonder why we ever thought it was a good idea to join a gym in the first place. Or eat healthy. Or drink water. Or anything.
And we lose sight of our Big Why. Our Excuses become more important than our Why, and we listen to them, instead of what our heart wanted when we first made the resolution.
Hey, I’m right there. I’ve written, “lose weight” every year for 23 years. And for the first few weeks it’s fine. But as soon as it starts to get uncomfortable – maybe I don’t lose weight as quickly as I’d like, and then I feel like it’s all useless and helpless – I give up. I think, “actually, my life is perfectly acceptable the way it is right now, and I’m fine with being overweight.” With that decided, I pop another Hershey Kiss in my mouth, and the resolution is forgotten.
So what can we do differently this year to combat it?
When writing my “lose weight” resolution this year, I’m not going to just write the number. But I’m also going to write why it’s important to me. Why am I going to put myself through discomfort, and being hungry, and feeling vulnerable and exposed?
Because I want to live longer. Because I don’t want to get stuck on the floor and not be able to get back up again. Because I don’t want knee pain.
Are those Why’s more important than eating a Hershey Kiss? I think they are. I’m going to keep them with me, easy to look at, pasted in the kitchen, written in my wallet, posted on the bathroom mirror. Anywhere I go, I’m going to see my Why, and I’m going to be reminded of why I’m making this change. And hopefully, my Why will be bigger than my Excuse.
What’s your Why? Can you make a Why that is bigger than your excuses? Leave me a note in the comments, and let me know!